


Kaidina S*ns: aka the 'Oh' Stories

by potionsmaster



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Also: Udina's Loins are a subject of interest in this fic, As is implied sexual content in general, Dialogue, I think it's purple, Just So We're Clear, Kaidina, M/M, More SPOILERS: there will be an elcor dildo involved, No Smut, Other things that might be unsavory to follow in the tags as I think of them, SPOILERS: Kaidan and MShep have sex on Udina's desk later in the story, SUFFER WITH ME, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This entire story is pure drivel and stupidity for amusement purposes only, Udina's a momma's boy, Why Did I Write This?, but that's not going to be detailed in the fic, except crumbs in the sheets afterwards, just implied, just...., m/m - Freeform, mmm meaty goodness, new ship name, not m/m pairings, not that kind of sin, office scandal, pure sin, refers to Udina, sex on a desk, shove off horn dogs, steak sandwiches eaten in bed, that's not so good, the 'Sin' in the title, there's nothing explicit in here, total crack pair, we all need Adderall and Jesus, why, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 20:03:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14961261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potionsmaster/pseuds/potionsmaster
Summary: so...this bit of evilness is hellspawned from the mshenko discord server and me taking jokes too far.  Out came the crackship 'Kaidan and Udina'.  These are the supposings of my over-active imagination and what some of their conversations would be.  That's it.  Just the dialogue.  Not even gonna tag who says what.





	1. how they met

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aliensvslife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensvslife/gifts), [comefeedtherainn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comefeedtherainn/gifts).



> "Careful, ye who are about to enter here"
> 
> I take no responsibility for your nightmares after reading. You're the one who clicked the damn button, yo

"Alenko!"

"Yessir."

"I like the cut of your pajama armor..."

"...Sir?"

"I meant do you want to have a drink with me?"

"Not particularly."  
  
"I'm buying."

"Oh."


	2. how the date went

"Come here often?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

"You're paying for food and drinks."

"Oh."


	3. how after the date went

"Alenko!"

"Yes?"

"That was...wow."

"Never been with a biotic before, have you?"

"No."

"First time for everything, I suppose."

"I need to call my mother."

"Uh...why?"

"Give her the good news."

"....oh."


	4. how they went on the second date

"Alenko!"

"Sir?"

"Can I talk with you?  _Privately?"_

"I'd rather not."

"..."

"What did you need, sir?"

"Another date."

"How's April 25th?  According to an old comedy vid, that's the perfect date."

"No, I mean with  _you_."

"Oh."


	5. and then the third

"Quarians? Turians?  Next Shepard will be asking for an asari on board.  This is an  _outrage_."

"I don't know, I think it's kind of a good thing... Sort of a kind of human-alien outreach initiative.  Helps with humanity's bid to get a seat on the Council."

"Eh?"

"Oh, please.  You're the most power-hungry politician Earth had to offer.  Don't play coy."

"Coy?  You haven't seen  _coy_ yet."

"...Is that supposed to be a come on?"

"...Yes."

"Oh..."


	6. how the nicknames started

"Alenko!"

"Yes, Udi?"

 _"Udi??_   What fresh hell is this?"

"It's a nickname."

"Why did you give me a nickname?"

"Because, I dunno, that's what involved people do?"

"Interesting...I prefer Donny, then.  Or Donny Boy."

"Why those?"

"They're what my mother calls me."

"....oh."


End file.
